Is me.. Carter Ng

End

2011-07-23T01:02:00.002+08:00

Thank you for tuning in, unfortunately, I switched to a new page. :) If you really eager to know it. find it, yourself. Internet is information, information is power.

And I believe you can find the place that I belong to right now.

I really love everything I write for this blog. So sad to say goodbye.

Moment of Death

2011-03-27T00:25:00.002+08:00

MLC the moment of death, this phrase appears quite often.
well, the main point I wanted to address is I face these shocking like going to hell moments, when Peik Hong is driving.

I teach her to learn drive last few day. Although, it has been better, she still need a lot of practices. A LOT. She is very often take a rocket fast right when she wanna make a turn. And a number of time we were actually drive up to the pedestrian passage along the road. At the beginning, her handling on car wheel was disaster. Her brake technique was awful. But after my "MO GUI" tutor session, she is finally make herself a so called "driver". I don't understand the fact that she always look unconscious to me, she seems like not focusing on what she is doing.

Anyhow, good luck to her, all I can do is give her more practice and that's it.

2011-02-26T14:43:00.003+08:00

This week is about Thong's birthday, mamak night, and Ian's birthday. Benjamin's birthday as well, but there wasn't much about him.

Bryan and I did lots of cooking on Hong Thong's birthday. It was actually quite successful, food are sufficient, everything turned out alright. Then yesterday I was actually helping Peik Hong practice her interview skill. I glad I could help out because I am the one barely have any interview experience.

In mamak night, I couldn't speak more than 10 sentences. Most people are not the circle of my friends anymore, I just find it hard to talk people that I am not close with. I am old.

And later on after the mamak night, Bryan and I went to Amy's game event in the church. So we had a little birthday moment with Ian, then we finished off the day with the play9 game. That's all about this week.

-----------------------------------------

What about me?

I finish MFE, and move on to MLC
On the job hunting side, I stop, I seriously stop. Not that I give up, is just that I didn't really put much effort on them.

I wish to have someone to share to but it seems like this blog is the one I am looking for. You may say I am crazy or anything, I sometimes imagine myself in love with someone. I just too scare to take action, haha. Loser Carter!

2011-02-21T14:54:00.003+08:00

It is a religious day. I am not sure it is a sign for, I don't know, may be something?
It wonders me.

I remember how easily people can actually put some events that happen in their life as a sign a God. People always has the tendency to relate something unexplainable with God. It might be, but I don't know.

Today was a good day.
because I finally speak with Junyi. I feel bad as I am not a entertainer, I have this "bore-est" monotone that I wish could to get rid of so badly. I feel stress, I mean I do not know how to be a good friend. Comparing myself with other people, I could not see myself as the most shinning person, I always wonder "does my existence makes people's life any different?" Because of all these facts, I jealous with others. I GUESS I HAVE LOW SELF-ESTEEM.

Whenever I webcam with friends, I capture photos. Here is Jun Yi and I

Again, a day is just like that.

Physical asset

2011-01-31T15:42:00.002+08:00

I wasn't born beautiful, but I know how to enhance and refine the way I look.
The world isn't fair, nothing is permanent, beauty doesn't hold.

We might not have the nice physical appearance like other do, but let's embrace and accept ourselves. That's all you need to be the prettiest in the world.

No failure, transcends success

2011-01-11T13:29:00.003+08:00

It has been 10 days after we say goodbye to 2010. I am wondering in my mind, what am I be doing in these "nothing-to-do" days. Games? Yes, video games are the only thing I am actually prioritized since after my study life ended, play and play and play all day long. Am I trying a escape the fact that I am graduated? Or I just do not want to face the road ahead, for instance, look for a job.

"Merry Christmas darling, we're apart thats true"
To anyone who read this, this line symbolizes nothing, is just a line from a song "Merry Christmas Darling - Glee (originally covered by Karen Carpenters)
And honestly, I love nobody. Of course, I do want a relationship, who doesn't want that. I carve to be loved but at this point of my life, I guess I will wait and see.

Looking back this year, it was actually great. I have did do a lot exercise especially on the second half year with my great partner Peik Hong and sometimes Janice. I passed two papers P and FM. Even though I did not make it for MFE exam but I am glad to know I am still not study hard enough. My fancy quotation "Don't go for second best!" and "Are you better than yesterday". These lines have given me a lot of motivation to go forward and work hard. I achieve a lot! And I am proud of myself.

Anyhow, once again in this year 2011. My resolutions are:
1. Find a job, a good job, a actuarial related job preferably in United States
2. Settle down in United States
3. Healthy, Eat healthy, Live healthy, Play healthy
4. Constant exercising life style
5. Be a good person, a good friend
6. Improve every positive aspect of myself physically, mentally, etc.
7. Good sleeping habits

However, I also hope, wish, believe, and want
1. No bad thing (any) happens to my family, my friends, and everyone in the Earth.
2. No obstacle from achieving something.
3. Everything go smoothly and successfully

My new quotation - "No failure, Transcends success"

Road trip

2010-10-19T13:30:00.003+08:00

"Our love was fresh and new. "

What is life meant to you,
You can figure out a thousand reasons to convince yourself about something.
But the reality is that
when you are not into something, it literally means you are not into it.

"I wanna be there now, I wanna take you back,
to a moment that you never had."

I used to remember the poem says
"A road diverges into two"
And now I am facing this situation,
and I stand there, in a very calm mind.
Other people might think I have my aim, I have a direction.
Well, I have none.

I wish everything is easy, who don't.
Despite figuring what you want is not something easy,
put yourself in a situation where making yourself stay in a place that do not really belong to you is even harder.
I wish to stay, and I know I want to stay in United States,
but it is ain't easy.

Jun Yi, I do wonder my choice but I decide which one is the best for me.
I hope you can figure out your own road soon,
walk that part with pride and joy.

All the best...................
|
|
|
|
sometimes I need people to give me support too,
where is mine.

Neil Thomas

2010-10-13T13:28:00.002+08:00

Neil Thomas - He is one of my favorite singers.
I am totally and absolutely amazed by his voice,
his songs are sentimental, transcend flawless melody.
Every song meant something with meaning that strike deep emotions.

Give him a try, please. http://www.youtube.com/user/noisyneil
I highly recommend Sixteen Days, The Record, The Marrying Kind, Angel, and Gray Inn Roads.
BUT I hope you guys listen too all of them.
I do hope he can continue doing more music!

2010-09-18T11:50:00.002+08:00

If you find it hard to write next line,
is all the truth that you need to say.

You sad when the song is sad,
I do not know whether I am too emotional or I am just a freak.
I never really got to show my personal side to anybody,
they are just not necessarily for others to know.

As time goes, I grown, cell never stop the mitosis processes,
everything is flash by, just like that.
I am getting worry, worry for something that other might don't even need to think about it.
I AM FREAKING 21 YEARS OLD, I don't usually give a shit,
but as I'm getting older, I scare, I really scare.
The word single is not easy to deal with.
I just wish I am not that way.

Night Carter.

华语

2010-08-19T13:16:00.002+08:00

雨下了又停了泪流了又干了
你走多久多远了我还在这
你说的你忘了可是我还记得
手心里紧握着已不属于我的亲热

爱怎会输给了时间我的耳边再听不见
我以为永远不会变最习惯的明天见
放手了该回到原点心会受伤也能复原
我会学着自己走出从前祝福明天

又一年了，在美国已经两年，
得到好多，好多，好多，美好的，
学习，进步，等等。

华语打得好慢！

Time just flies,
I do not exactly know how many times I want to tell myself about this.
No one can change the way you look into this world but you,
life is all about happiness.

I have a great life, I am boring. and I stop. Here....

Heart catch fire

2010-08-07T14:08:00.003+08:00

Up and down, look around,
Recently listening to Mariah song,
Love story.
I like the melody.
Flawless.

I passed P,
ignite my heart to move on,
I am moving away from failure,
closer to success.

But after all,
I left alone, I still alone.

Copy

2010-08-04T16:14:00.003+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTtxTvfGUwI

This is a award winning video called Copy.

STOP!

What did you reason after watching it?

It is love,
For me this is
1. about the struggle of love on someone ended up create multiple problems
2. a lot of people out there always love you, you may find they aren't really those people you notice and you don't seem to care, eventually they walk away from you.
3. do not clouded by the thing you love and omit other amazing that are already around you.

This is just so amazing, it struck such a deep thought to me.

Levi's jean

2010-08-01T14:08:00.004+08:00

You may say I am a dreamer,
but I not the only one.
I hope someday you will join us,
and the world will live as one.

I am obsessed with glee soundtrack,
they are soo soo soo good.

If you wanted the sky I would write across the sky with letters,
that would soar a thousand feet high,
To sir with love,
To you with love.

Time flies, wrinkle appears.
Amazingly, the more I get challenged, the more I get stronger.
I have been struggle a lot with Women's studies which I initiate myself to take it in this summer along with exam P at the same time.
No doubt, toughness is indescribable.
Aside of doing with all these craps, I travel here and there which shrunken my study time.

Today, air-balloons are floating everywhere in Indianola.
A few friends of few and I drove to that place, and see them.
It is just so eye-fulfilling.
Colorful- red orange yellow blue green indigo purple
signify the deepest personality of mine.
I belong to these spectrum, a shameless imagine that submissively hide inside of me.

Night everyone, with all the blessing and love.
I do hope someone will understand and embrace me as I am so weak inside.

Borderline Open your heart

2010-07-20T22:27:00.002+08:00

Something in the way you love won't let me be,
Open you heart to me baby.
You're making me, you're making such a fool of me.

Reliculous

2010-07-04T11:01:00.004+08:00

Religion + Ridiculous

Life

2010-06-28T12:57:00.003+08:00

Is start again,
loneliness that will never end.

What need people to stay happy,
is a relationship.
A love that will constantly embracing you,
and someone that let you share.
Being to the other level, such as marriage, children, money
that's the other thing, and I really don't care about it right now.

It is always what I am searching for,
but I am a failure.

I do not want something constantly changing,
I ain't want a life that beautiful,
I just want the sparks, that shine through every part of my life.
And make it seriously interesting.
Don't you agree?

Love

2010-06-18T15:56:00.002+08:00

"You just tragically tangled up in your own homophobia,

What's not to know,

cause' there is one place you don't feel comfortable and secure is your own skin."

Is just another normal day,

LA Lakers won the NBA Final today,

It wasn't surprise me because I feel like they will win today.

I registered P exam,

something I have to face again. BORING.

One music video I would like you guys to see is Someday by Rob Thomas.

I love it so much,

The world is about peace, love and life.

Love you....

Be the change

2010-06-16T15:18:00.002+08:00

It wasn't a productive day

but it definitely a great day.

A lot are coming soon.

Is just soo nothing to do right now.

BE THE CHANGE

is the theme for this post.

Everything we strike to improve,

we try to make changes,

We do not have to intentionally make something to change,

but things just happened naturally.

Hope everyone change in a good way.

Nights

Can't be changed, Can't be tamed

2010-06-15T15:22:00.003+08:00

I just want to share something today,

"How are we suppose to move forward if we are creating inward hate toward the subculture within the community?"

It is just a random say from someone in youtube.

and interesting enough for me to quote it in my blog.

I am totally agree with that,

and I feel proud to be included,

but I feel ashame for what I have done to myself.

It is hard.

I just got back from Kansas city,

my friends and I "sort of like" in the pride week attire today morning,

because we were all wearing a different color of shirt that form a rainbow color.

That was nice.

I am a bit tired now.

Good night everyone, I will continue tomorrow.

Goodbye my baby

2010-06-03T14:58:00.002+08:00

Aw, my baby is once again going to factory repair,

and this is the second time, wow, what a nice laptop I have!

The best thing ever,

just like car maintenance.

I am the most promiscuous one, I guess,

deeply deeply obsessed with youtube video,

by anonymous people.

So crazy but very enjoying by just looking at them.

In my previously rented SUV,

I discovered More than just friend - Mariah Carey

I know the song title because it has a satellite radio!

Sooooo cool.

It display song title, artist name, channel name and which dj is on cast.

Ouch! nothing to do but nothing.

Contradicting!

Exercise is the only thing I can use up my precious time.

Study?! Zz I am soo lazy.

More than just friend (Mariah Carey)

But you never tried to holla
You could spend a couple mil
I could....(sell ya) in milano
Boy hit your horn beep beep
I'll follow
Have your whip in my driveway by tomorrow
Secretly i know u wanna hit it like the lotto
And after that we could ketchup like tomato
Or we could make love in italy in the grotto
Fresh off the jet at the mat they're screaming bravo
Steppin in my jimmy choos yeah got it all cute for you baby
Nothing like those other girls i would never be rude to you baby
Can we just say that you wanna be more than just friends

Boy i'ma love you until the end the end the end the end
More than just friends)
Boy

Boy you got me all messed up like serrato
You got me spinnin round for you like a little model
Steady fiendin for you like them fries at mcdonalds
I wanna be all on your lips like gelato
Paint me in your picture like picasso
Love me down till you hit the top of my soprano
We can pop bottles got me actin * on the phone
Then baby come and hit this thing like a cello

Boy i'ma love you until the end the end the end the end
More than just friends)
Boy

Boy i'ma love you until the end the end the end the end
More than just friends)

Boy

More than

2010-06-03T14:33:00.002+08:00

"hey, you have something there on your face.." "where?" "just...(points to area near eye)...THERE!" *silence* "oh that's part of your face"

It is lame but funny. Zz

Too bored until nothing else to do.

"Ways to die" might be a good book for me.

Ciao and good night.

=)

2010-05-29T13:34:00.003+08:00

Oh I want the "true" to be known.

True is today's theme.

Deeply reasoning, think, what is the time you feel you are true to yourself?

Honestly I am not, every moment I lie to myself.

A little bit sick of travelling, I need to slow down.

If I have a house in LA, I will stay in the shelter and sleep!

I am going back to Des Moines tomorrow. or after 11 hours.

Going back to my root, alone in the house, since Nick will be only at home on 31.

Fact for everybody

2010-05-27T14:57:00.002+08:00

If one person choose to stand,

even the sky is going to fall, he or she will never move.

Sometimes, people ended up lying all the time,

and you become incredibly good liar without even trying to lie.

i do

2010-05-02T13:30:00.003+08:00

Nothing is messier then me myself.

My life is totally well-prepared, so nice,

but I am the one, and the person who want to ruin it.

This week had been a lot,

I filled my life with "purpose".

First is all about my work, homework, houseworks, whatever,

then, Cyndi downtown street painting, host parents house dinner,

Next, Amy game day, Dan and Dan QnA, then MASA movie night Slumdog Millionaires.

What is ahead?

Certainly something interesting, the most excited one drinking night which is going to be happened later.

I promised myself to get very very very crazy!

Then back the reality again, homework and studies,

Lastly FINALS.

Now, I am putting up my head hone, the whole mood changed by the music,

Sixteen Day - Neil Thomas.

Please, if anyone hear me, go and listen to it.

Such an indescribable feeling when the song is playing,

I don't know, sad? calm? emo? satisfy?

I have really no idea.

"Everywhere I gone, I know that you here with me,

Everything I see, is telling me somebody is waiting for me."

Each word in the song, touches my heart.

I want the thing I want so much,

and I do.

Hot

2010-04-26T02:35:00.002+08:00

Hot 100 men list,

wooo, if I am in the list one day, it will be very funny!

http://www.afterelton.com/people/2009/hot100?page=0,0

Most of them are actors,

is it mean that handsome is totally positively correlated with acting skill?

I guess not.

Pain killer

2010-04-22T14:50:00.000+08:00

My Stomach Pain like Hell!

OUCH!

Heartbreak Warfare

2010-04-21T15:06:00.004+08:00

I am seriously need motivation to move forward.

Pushing, pulling, dragging, just get me out of laziness.

What? who are going to do it, but yourself?

Obviously I know the answer, I know the reality,

and I know the truth, is just I never face it.

Don't ask anyone to help, before you even want to help yourself.

I am NOT doing exactly what I am stating here.

Good job Carter, you are such a loser.

Learn about a new series called Brothers and Sisters,

Really nice even though is a little bit too drama.

And I absolutely love Luke Macfarlane who portray Scotty,

his sissy-ness, his attitude, his sexy voice, make me think of Jun Yi.

Well, one thing different is that, he is not as Diva as Jun Yi.

Because of that movie, it makes me want to learn to speak PROPER English,

word is strong tool, to make emotion, to make a conversation interesting,

I have a lot of fun just to listen to what they are saying in the movie.

I even try to imitate.

Heartbreak is warfare, Heartbreak Warfare - John Mayer.

Deep soulful music,

whoever is reading my blog now, go ahead listen to it!

It is really really nice!

In the middle of writing this blog,

One of my college friend See Pei chat with me,

He approached me first, which make me really surprise.

I really glad that he still remember me, I am personally feel so touch.

Aww, I am really happy that I am still remembered by someone else.

My heart is broke into pieces but still there are people out there are trying to put them backtogether.

I love you, PEOPLE.

Look my at myself

2010-04-19T14:05:00.002+08:00

I was wonder

and it always a doubt for me.

Do I look like young?

I think Asian faces look very immature.

I am a 21 years old person.

But I look like 14 years old kid.

Do you guys agree?

Because of that

I seldom completely shave my mustache,

I believe it makes me look older, in the sense that more mature.

Instead, I bought a trimmer, to keep them look short rather than completely shave off.

Again, do you think it is better on me?

Mary and I sort of like talking about "hair" yesterday,

I know it sounds disgusting, yea true, we were talking about armpit hairs, which particularly focus on women.

Eeww, a weird topic. I think women should not keep their armpit hairs, scary!

------------------

I think of you 24/7 even every second.

Ahh, I am seriously in deep love.

I am looking forward for this summer,

and I do really hope we could hang out.

Do you want to?

I remembered I saw you a few times in Hubbell,

I couldn't stop keep my eyes off you,

One time, I was working for runner shift,

I kept stand on a position that is visible for me to look at you.

And now what a coincident, we already knew each other.

Even though we never talk, just never stand close to each other,

chat room, massages, are more than enough to make me think about you for whole day.

You are too adorable, if there is the chance,

I hope we could take a step further,

You are Cheshire cat,

and I love Cheshire cat.

If we ever meet again

2010-04-18T15:10:00.002+08:00

I was trying to look for you in street painting,

I saw you, I walk passed you, and we waved to each other.

I know you was trying to get close, but I was walking away.

You was like wanted to hold my hand, but again that time I walked away so fast.

I feel so sorry. It was totally an awkward situation.

There was at least 2 seconds of eye contact,

The moment I was so happy to see you, but I dare not to approach you.

And then you told me in facebook

you are funny

one day you will have to just approach me

I really hope so, much more than you could ever think of.

I promise we will have a chance to talk, and at least a "hi"

I remember our conversation last time

Xx : you make me smile Carter lol yeah I noticed you there

Carter: ........ I saw you too

Xx : and I noticed that you didn't give me eye contact, i could tell you were uncomfortable

Carter: sorry i was so embarrassed, i guess i was a bit nervous...haha

Xx : oh, do not apologize, i understand, i just thought it was funny that your friends were pointing and talking about me

Carter: haha.. no...we didnt

Xx : you sure?

Carter: No certainly not...

Xx : ok, i feel like all Malaysians are talking about me when i'm around them

Aww, I think I lose my grasp when climbing mountain, and I fall, so deep, into your heart.

I'm falling for you.

假面

2010-04-03T15:40:00.002+08:00

的告白

好傻，真的好傻！

有一句话想告诉书缘，

“看不到未来，也哭不出来” 就如我现在的心情。

听着Jolin的歌，emo歌。

希望你们会喜欢 - http://www.vevo.com/watch/jolin-tsai/jia-mian-de-gao-bai/TWA480303903

心里又多了一个人，

你和你，

“我不要爱，我不要爱，可是我离不开” - 描述着第一个我爱的你

那种强烈的感觉，就因时间而冲淡了。我曾告诉自己，都过了，是时候放手。

手放开，但心放不下。

“我想离开，我想离开，可是我还期待” - 描述着第二个我爱的你

。。。没话说

Different World

2010-03-29T14:01:00.002+08:00

I was waiting for,

and suddenly think about the song from Anson Hu - Waiting for you.

I just want to literally wake up myself up,

We will never be together,

face it Carter.

I was looking for you in MASA night but

apparently you wasn't there.

I asked you and I was right.

Well, I guess there is another chance for us to meet someday? Hopefully.

Who I am

2010-03-24T15:13:00.002+08:00

I want someone to love me
for who I am.
I want someone to need me.
Is that so bad?
I wanna break all the madness
but it's all I have.
I want someone to love me
for who I am.

Nice song from Nick Jonas.

I always think that he has the most unique voice among Jonas Brother,

and I think he is the most handsome too.

Surely attract lots of people!

Whatever, but just like the song says,

I wanna someone to love me, who I am.

No matter I am whatever.

True love is a gift.

Treasure it before it disappear!

Crazy

2010-03-22T13:14:00.006+08:00

I committed and I fall for you.

I do not know is that a good thing or not.

But my head is all about you, just you.

Ahh, I kept thinking about you,

I gonna crazy already,

My Spring break was just

waiting for you to online and chat with you.

I hope you and I can go one step further.

But I dare not to try,

and I mean what happened to you Carter.

Another thing:

I chat with Chiann too,

I was shock by her, hot Chiann is gone,

the one used to party a lot has became a very obedient secondary girl.

Totally shock...

I missed her for sure, we talk, we chat.

I mean I like people share feelings,

deep feeling...

Missed those day with her,

I hate the fact that I am too small that time, and wasn't got the chance to club with her.

Take care Chiann, hope you getting well soon!

Back to the crazy topic:

Again, you thought me to smile as much as I can.

I wish to smile as large as I can, and I look at your picture again again and again,

I told myself "You already in love with this person."

It is true......

Eh eh eh

2010-03-13T17:47:00.001+08:00

Dying inside 'cause I can't stand it
Make or break up
Can't take this madness
We don't even really know why
All I know is baby
I try and try so hard
To keep our love alive

If you don't know me at this point
Then I highly doubt you ever will
I really need you to give me
That unconditional love I used to feel
It's a mistake if we just erase it
From our hearts and minds and I know

Spring break,

have fun~

I don't know

2010-03-11T14:10:00.002+08:00

After some freaking things going around and around,

I am too free thinking of don't know what to do.

Feel like really want to rest myself, or even transform myself into a pig.

A very very big fat pig that lie there forever.

I was looking for a road that is most appealing for me,

a road that I think will be hard to walk.

I used to think that I want to stay in this country,

I mean forever, search for a life that no one will know about me.

But me, myself, and I, I really think that way.

This idea started to vague, as I know that

not I do not want myself to stay in this country,

but is just I couldn't stay in this country.

Yes I can but it is really hard.

At this point, I am still confusing where am I heading to.

Am I? Am I still loving you, I don't know.

May be I really have to agree, time melts, washes, heals everything.

I really don't know, sometimes feel like ya, sometimes not.

Did I really pull it off, did I? Again I don't know.

Love..

One thing is that I still care about you, very much, and so much.

Spring break,

I wish I could buy a lot of stuff, but I feel like I don't wanna waste too much money too,

kinda a conflict here. But I guess I would definitely buy something for myself this time! =)

Sweet! Love you~

Sick

2010-03-05T14:42:00.001+08:00

I shouldn't have walked away
I would've stayed if you said
We could've made everything OK
But we just
Threw the blame back and forth
We treated love like a sport
The final blow hit so low
I'm still on the ground

I couldn't have prepared myself for this fall
Shattered in pieces curled on the floor
Super natural love conquers all
Remember we used to touch the sky
And Lightning don't strike
The same place twice
When you and I said goodbye
I felt the angels cry
True love's a gift
We let it drift
In a storm
Every night
I feel the angels cry

Getting there

2010-03-02T13:58:00.002+08:00

Hmm, 21 is coming soon, really old now.

I really don't want to face the fact that I am getting older,

I feel very guilty that I am still not able to support myself, even I am 21 years old (getting there soon).

I hate the fact that I am still depending on my parents, which I don't want it.

But how? I can't, I can't live without my dad and mum.

So, even my birthday, I really have to thank my parents,

without them, I will not be here! I love you, dad and mum!

Hmm, I listen to Ben and Dave show, and figure out

this song Spandau Ballet - True; a very nice song! But it seems to be a little old composition to the youngster today.

True,

my love to my parents is true,

my love to you is true,

my love to my friends is true,

Thank you everything, because you guys are true.

2010-02-27T16:14:00.002+08:00

Lazy like hell...

Study ain't hard, but relax is too easy.

Well nothing can keep me away from Youtube, iGoogle, Blog, and Facebook.

All my day was ripped off by all these so called "distraction".

How sad to say that but ya probably that's the only thing that keep me from studying.

A total mess in my studies,

I have no comment and I know I gonna work on it!

And ya you can do it Carter.

One thing!

I thought the Percy Jack and the Olympians - The Lightning Thief was good,

I still think it is good though, this young kid Logan Lerman, I like him.

But the fact that he is 1992, oowwwwww, I hate that. I am old enough to be called uncle now!

Oh come on! A kid can be that successful, why I am still reading like a toddler!

Well, is time for me to stop here.. Great day, great night, and take care guys!

VD

2010-02-15T12:52:00.002+08:00

I know I shouldn't but I can't control,

I do not know who to express, and I can barely breathe now.

I know I shouldn't feel sad or whatsoever,

but my heart is beating real hard because it hurts.

Valentine's... Of course I just can wish you all the best,

Of course that's what I can do for you the best,

and again of course that's the only thing I can do the best.

Do you receive my silent wishes?

I guess nobody knows,

I think you will never know.

I have no right to envy,

I have no right to be jealousy,

it is just because I doesn't fit to the condition that I have to be...

All the best to you, Happy Valentine's Day.

2010-02-14T18:10:00.002+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year,

I guess I finally realized, families are important to me.

They are the one, that will never leave you,

they are always there for you. I am so happy I have such a great families members.

Today, CNY as well as Valentine's Day,

either both of them are applicable to me.

Sigh, hope this year will be a really great year for me.

A year to be yourself Carter,

A year for you to enjoy,

A year that will let you forget what you should forget,

A year that will be really happy,

A year that .................. good, whatever.

I found something interesting

and I wanna share

a fleeting opinion per minute, an evolution per day.

i feel.

i process.

and then i write.

take what you want, that's why i'm here.

keep in mind...
you won't find regret,
you won't find two faces,
you won't find perfection.

to me, it's not about being right
or being wrong.

it's about being me

Hmmm?? Haha

Song as my post

2010-02-11T15:14:00.000+08:00

If you could only see
That I was not put here for you
To judge me and dispute my in most truth

And after all these years of enmity, envy and tears
It's a shame you don't know me at all

I was wondering would you cry for me
If I told you that I couldn't breathe
If I was drowning, suffocating
If I told you that I couldn't breathe

And those ageless buried recollections
we transform them and select them
You have yours, I have mine that's fine.

Why are we too torn to heal
The stitches never disappear
I have mine, You have yours, I'm sure

I was wondering
Would you reach for me
If you saw that I was languishing

I was wondering
would you cry for me
If I told you that I couldn't breath
If I was drowning, suffocating
If I told you that I couldn't breathe

So hurtful

2010-02-01T14:29:00.002+08:00

I am beautiful, not matter what they said, word can't bring me down.

So hurtful is the title of the today's topic,

I have no idea what is my way to go,

I just like stand in the middle of nowhere.

And getting so insecure... So much inside painfulness that hardly everyone can be related.

I heard this song from radio today, Christina Aguilera Beautiful.

Every day is so wonderful
And suddenly, it's hard to breathe
Now and then, I get insecure
From all the pain, I'm so ashamed

Just wanna to express my inner self to someone, really trusted.

I found Shu Yuan, but it turned out like a joke,

but he is still care about me..

We are beautiful, don't you bring me down today.

Health

2010-01-31T16:23:00.002+08:00

Carter, Prove to yourself!

You will be very healthy!

Start my exercise plan everyday, from tomorrow!

NOSE

2010-01-30T16:51:00.002+08:00

"Don't judge and dispute my inmost truth, I was not put here for you!"

I know it is not mine to be treasure anymore,

I had a runny nose now, it feels like wanna cry.

"If I told you that I could breathe, would you reach for me?"

Ah, I hate it!

Never too far away

2010-01-23T15:17:00.002+08:00

Really fresh after cutting off my stupid annoy flat long hair.

Started to gain some confident back, clean and smart.

I like that!

Haha,

Ahh every thing just like the normal time,

nothing change.

But I went for a Broadway show, which is kind of popular in Las Vegas!

And I got the chance to see it in DES MOINES! What a lucky time!

The award winner musical show, Lion King.

Story was exactly the same in the Lion King we watch from Disney, but just they are not cartoons.

Ok, thats all about to day,

tomorrow will be a happy day to have lunch with fellows~

"Be brave enough to love again" - Carter

FRIEND

2010-01-22T14:28:00.005+08:00

Lalilalalilia

Classes have been started a week,

well nothing surprise and kind of boring.

My head started to think again,

and again is you, I don't know what to anticipate,

I don't even hope for anything now.

Friend is just friend, that is!

I guess that is the best solution for you and I.

After the days of tears and hurts,

I know nothing will change between you and I.

And I know you try so hard for us to be FRIEND.

Just friend and just friend..

Started to get thing busy up,

I hope I will not look back again,

look straight and ahead to achieve something new and get something better!

Carter please work hard!

2010-01-19T13:23:00.003+08:00

Ahhhhhh, classes begin tomorrow.

Aisk, what to do, just like that,

This year, I make sure I work hard, really hard.

Do the best I can, not wasting any time anymore,

promise what I promise myself to do.

Wake up early! Sleep early~

Wohhwoohh~ I know I can do it!

What do you want from me

2010-01-18T16:24:00.002+08:00

Adam Lambert - What do you want from me

Finally there is one song from this guy make me so obsessed,

I was singing this song for whole day.

The song is really catchy and mesmerizing.

No internet is suffering!

Totally hate the day without internet,

After today, it will be the first day for class, again is class.

Yesterday, I sprained my right hand thumb,

I just realized that thumb is so important to me.

The moment I started the car, I ouchh..

The moment I lift things, I ouch..

The moment I open the shampoo bottle cap, I ouch..

The moment I want to thumb up, and wanna say good, it just turn out saying "ouch.."

What do you want from me? What do you want from meeeeeee!

Hey slow it down... I mean you, TIME.

My thought

2010-01-11T14:13:00.003+08:00

I am so sad after saw an email,

a guy from Segamat (I do not know him but definitely a friend of my friend) infected testis cancer.

Don't laugh it wasn't funny, but how can I help, I do not know, and the guy was looking for donation.

It is sad, money is really important.

Nothing is precious than life, but the only thing can save your life is money.

Money = Health = Happiness

You may not agree with that,

but what you have to agree is money is not the thing that make you happy but you definitely will not happy without it.

I just wish my family and my friends stay as healthier as they can.
Live as healthy as it will be!

I want everyone and I really want, not hope, everyone around me live a great life.

Wake up happily in every single day!

GOD BLESS EVERYONE!

My ultimate goal, MONEY and FAME.

I want to be as bitchy as Britney bitch! Haha just joking.

Seems like such a loss

2010-01-07T17:49:00.003+08:00

Open up my blog,
HATEU song starts.

It has been a really great time in LA,
I reasoned a lot of stuff, A lot
"Something go a hold of us and we changed"
The word "CHANGE", I don't know how to describe this immense feeling,
It's big, really big, Why..

LA, Hollywood, San Francisco,
I love three of them.
Well, doesn't mean I don't like Des Moines.
Indeed, I still love Des Moines.
Quiet and calm.

I still can't shake it off,
I can't break through these emotional changes,
Seems like such a loss.

Now, I just sitting there listening to new discovered song,
Languishing by Mariah Carey

The lyrics just decribe how I think about you.

If you could only see that I was not
Put here for you to judge me and dispute my inmost truth
And after all these years
Of enmity, envy, and tears,
It's a shame you don't know me at all.

Again,
I just do not know how to change me and you...
Is it just let it be?
Or,
gonna take a little time?

Heartache and pain....

2010

2010-01-02T17:12:00.002+08:00

The first day of 2k10,

A lot of things I wanna do this year.

Well, the main thing is to be HAPPY all the thing, but I know this gona be a hard thing!

Anyway, just hope everyone stay healthy, live a longer life.

Seeing a lot of stuff today,

We went to a funny part of San Francisco which is the Castro district,

which also known as gay town.

And we went to a shop, selling a lot of AV DVD,

I was like waoohh, it really impressed me.

I didn't know that they have a rainbow flag until I really see it.

Looking a lot of same sex couples on the street, kissing.

My mind was like waoh, soo romantic.

Resolution,

Hmm, I wish to be as busy as I can this year.

Busy with something that I need to do, and I have to do,

at the same time, get a job and start my working days,

earn my first TRUE salary!

Of course get a partner, that can really share

my life, my soul, my everything.

WORKOUT! Jogging, gym, whatever! Make myself physically fit and look better.

Be more hardworking in studies.

Honestly, I really lazy when come to study, is time to change it!

Hmm, I guess all in all have a healthy life is more important than anything.

The ultimate resolution is hope my family and everyone in this world has a healthy body!

For me, I just hope everything goes fine, really fine.

I love San Francisco, a great place, with culture and beauty. The roads are suck but other thing else are very nice. Beside, LA and Hollywood. San Francisco will be a very great place for me to live.

I just love West Coast, Haha!

City of Fame, World of Stars.

Next two days, I will go to LA again.

Is time to party, party everyday, party everydayyyyy.

End of 2009

2009-12-31T17:15:00.002+08:00

End of decade,

Looking back all those years,

I didn't know how much I have achieve,

But I definitely know how old I have grown.

It will be a great day for count down in San Francisco,

hope everyone has a very happy New Year.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Be with myself in center

2009-12-24T15:23:00.003+08:00

I had no idea what to write now,

as I am so speechless so speechless.

LadyGaga Speechless.

This is the boring-est Christmas I ever had,

I have no excitement at all and not even a single happiness.

Tomorrow I am going to a cold place,

I still do not know what the name of the place.

An old song kept in my mind after I listen to it,

Big Girls Don't Cry

I really hope I will never down again,

even it will never happen.

I still remember I love this song very much in INTI,

every single sentence of that song relates to me.

The smell on your skin linger on me now,

Probably on your flight back to your hometown,

Yes you can hold my hand if you want to,

cause I wanna hold yours too,

We'll be playmate and lover and share our secret world.

But

it is time for me to go home,

is getting late and dark outside,

I need to be with myseld in center,

Clarity, peace, serenity.

It is so about me...

Anyway, happy Christmas eve everyone!

2009-12-23T16:37:00.002+08:00

A great Hollywood day,

feel like you are a super even when you are walking on the street!

I really wish to stay there if I can,

Hmm, tomorrow I will depart to San Francisco.

Another dream land

Nothing much to talk about today,

just because I am not in a very great mood,

LA......

Good night...See SF tomorrow!

Trip begin

2009-12-19T17:30:00.002+08:00

Hmm, start...

Everything start, well we are ended,

long time ago.

California trip will be begun tomorrow,

I can't wait to reach there, but I wish to sit there in the whole road trip.

I don't really like to drive, especially in United States.

I feel very stress, not because I drive badly,

is just lives are on my hand, I responsible for anything.

Which anything can be really ANYTHING.

I will miss one thing about Des Moines,

the carefree leisure day, I wish to sit in front of laptop,

do nothing, really nothing~

Why is it so hard to say goodbye... especially to my love

I was wonder, are you still with me?

Do you still listen to the deepest of me?

What I mean is... are you still looking at my blog....

I still can't shake it off,

Sorry the frustrations got me feeling awake

and I just keep having one last thing to say

and I just wanna hold you, touch you,

feel you, be near you...

Tomorrow will be a tiring day I guess, drive is not easy.

Good night everyone.... and you...

Intuition

2009-12-18T16:07:00.002+08:00

I really have a very great sense of intuition,

predict accurately,

weird...

I am very tired now, I mean now, 2.40am

Exams are finished but why

it is just like "very hard to say goodbye".

I need a big rest, well Saturday will be the journey of road trip

A bit nervous, I think 30 hours driving is not easy!

I think I will go to bed now! GOod luck for those who haven't done the exam,

and happy holiday~ Everyone..

My favorite genre

2009-12-17T16:46:00.002+08:00

Once upon a time
We swore not to say goodbye
Something got a hold of us
And we changed
Then you sat alone in pride
And I sat at home and cried
How'd our fairytale just end up this way

Why is it so hard to say goodbye

Say goodbye to my love

I used to tell myself,

no matter what happened, I will never change how much I love you.

My song taste started to shift back to slow emotional, EMO song.

Again the bitch! Mariah!

But she is getting uglier and uglier now~

Fatter and fatter, wrinkles all come out, even botox can't cure the old face.

Face it, you are old!

I can't wait for a winter break,

After a few more hours, the finals will be all over!

And matter fact I think I'm moving away
Sorry the frustrations got me feeling away
And I just keep having one last thing to say
And I just want to hold you, touch you, feel you
Be near you

I'm tired of tryin to fake through
But there's nothing I can do

H A T E U

2009-12-15T14:25:00.002+08:00

A very very slow song, sentimental, hinder of sadness,

digital pop by Mariah Carey H A T E U.

It is really nice, I wasn't that fond on that song but after awhile, it sticks on my mind just like chewing gum.

Two down, two really down, unbelievable... Silent is more than word, just unbelievable!

Three to go, soon... really soon.

HATEU, hate you, am I?

I don't know, sometimes yes.

I need to catch up my drama, and I want time to relax~

Exams please get rid of my way.

Please....

Just take it easy

2009-12-14T17:55:00.002+08:00

If you got time to happy, you can just oblige to your own mind.

Our love is written in the star, but I don't think I see that high,

No darling, is time to take "nap", gona have my first fight later!

Happy is a day, sad is a day, emo also a day, well time moves on no matter how you choose to be.

San Francisco is getting near, really near, I am full with excitement.

But well my mind now is thinking of going there alone, meeting new people,

WhouuuHoooo.... =) I love me, I love Carter, I love CA -- California too~

I want whoever, have a very great mood like how I do~

"Just face it, I am not a marrying kind~"

Thinking of buying a Sony handycam, capture all the moments that my mind can not fit in.

I always wanted to take video with you, very sweet, travelling together, here and there.

Cities, people, scene, places, food, my face, your face, and OUR faces and get the faces real close together,

Fooling around, playing around, joy, laugh, and sweet kisses. Awww..

Haha, there are just a dream..

a dream that will never exist for me. =/

Carter is sick of love, and nobody nobody but you.

The record

2009-12-13T16:57:00.003+08:00

Ouuhhhh,

a very nice song again!

There is a sentence on the song

"I wanna be there now, I wanna take you back,

to the moment where you wanted what you had"

Just like giving be a sign that the time to San Francisco is very near!

Partyyeee, MaSa Grad night amazing performance by all the 2008 batch!

It was really cool, my body was like di-rusuk by Jun Yi,

just like a bitch, is Britney Bitch!

I love dancing, I really do have passion on that~

But.................study la~

That is what I should do now!

Exam is real near, but for me they are just, like normal tests.

No worry that much, let is be, I will try my best anyway!

Ahhh, I love Neil Thomas voice, I love Chris Salvatore's face,

and I love my attitude! So fucked up.

I heard that San Francisco has a lot of clubs,

waooh a place to clubbin', sound really cool~

Sooo damaging

2009-12-12T15:27:00.002+08:00

I got so many things to do, but still "untouched"!

This blog is the place I really speak up what I am storing inside my heart.

Honestly, no single page is read, even the finals are soooooooo near!

Tired day, keep training the dance that we are going to perform tomorrow,

I like Adacadabra! The moves are killing and sexy.

Holiday is very near too, but I just not very in the mood.

A lot of stuff about studies to worry,

Lazy me.

What I really can do to change the situation now,

I don't know, I did try my best, and I really did,

but I just so many things happening repeatedly,

Thing just don't work out, because there are too many obstacles.

Those invisible barriers, that I don't even can break through.

Just let it be... Is not that I never try~

"Lazy lover lose each other"

"Let face it I'm not the marrying kind"

Unknown Neil Thomas

2009-12-09T16:24:00.003+08:00

Neil Thomas

The first time, I like the person because he sings good but not judging from how he looks.

Soul and Blue genre.

Sixteen days is the best among all his album,

even he is not famous at all, not even more that 2000 people know him,

I am so lucky to be one of the person of the number.

He has a very very very mesmerizing voice,

so comfortable, so warm, so calm.

Listen to him, I hope he could be as famous as every pop singer in this world.

Just wonder, great singer turn out to be not famous,

I just don't understand.

Life is about risk, risk is equal to how lucky you are.

Who knows, if Britney didn't sign in to Disney, she will never gain so much fame like now.

Just the moment, she put on her signature, the life turns out differently, so differently.

Another great song from Neil Thomas, The Marrying Kind.

There is a part where you can heard Trumpet, but that is actually sound made from his mouth.

Amazingly cool.

He is an unknown from San Fransisco.

Hope to see Neil Thomas! And of course Chris Salvatore!

I really wish to have Christmas in San Fransisco, I know it will be such a different experience!

Explorer San Fran, it will be so much fun too~

I know, I guess I know what to do.

I understand it, totally~

Snow storm, weather is cold, but my heart even colder than outside.

Angel I don't wanna be alone, don't know how to be alone.

So long..

Future

2009-12-08T15:34:00.002+08:00

If the first thing come into your mind when you look at the blog title is future contract,

then you and I are just a two person from different world of interest.

Recently, tweet a lot. Is like really a lot.

Putting down what is on my mind, at a certain moment, that I really wanna share to others.

Here is my twitter account username, carter_ng

Future, future and further.

I still remember, I wrote an essay, I mis-spell furthermore, become futuremore,

All my friends was laugh out loud, haha! I laugh too~

Final exam, I don't even want to start anything, because I don't like to study!

I really hate to study! I wish to do something really I enjoy doing.

Reading is just not my type!

I know I shouldn't blame anything, but myself.

I told myself many times,

Just try your best, read, go through the study life,

I just can't, I just HATE study. Even I am not as blur as Thong.

But I can't, I can't continue this anymore.

Even though, I will force myself to study,

I really don't like it.

I have to say I HAVE NO PASSION in study.

I wish to stay in United States, but what I am studying now is for me?

I guess not!

I don't mind it, I don't mind it all.

Don't talk about that now,

wish Nick pass FM tomorrow, even though I know he SURE pass!

Haha.. I believe him!

Live Like We're dying

2009-12-07T15:14:00.002+08:00

Kris Allen song,

his version of Heartless impressed everyone, until he win the American Idol.

Live Like We're Dying

Not bad..

Snowing today, the real snowing.

Suddenly flash back some memories about last year.

Think of the amazing winter break, all of us have,

Think of you and I, think of me and my friends,

Everything is look same, but so differently inside.

I promise myself to set everything down to the bottom heart,

I know I could do it, I manage to do it,

most importantly, I must do it.

This coming winter break,

is an adventure time,

I do not know whether I will be more happy than the last one.

Hope everything goes fine,

smile and joy to the world to everything I have right now.

treasure every single moment I spend in the world.

Make myself as jolly as I can.

Winter, amazingly beautiful scenery.

Pure white, sleeping heavenly peace.

Again, my mind is all Christmas song.

Hang our shinning star over the highest bough,

Have yourself a merry little Christmas now.

Silent night, Holy night,

All is calm, All is bright.

Christmas, the snow coming down,

I'm watching the snow,

lots of people around,

Baby please come home.

The fire is burning,

The room's all aglow,

Outside the december wind blows,

Away in the distance,

The caroler sing in the snow.

Everybody's laughing,

The world is celebrating

and everyone's so happy,

except for me tonight,

because I miss you.

I love this song the most among all of those.

Christmas....

so near and so soon.

Good night, peace, silent and happy.

Unusual

2009-12-05T15:37:00.002+08:00

"Bridges are burning, baby I'm learning

Tables are turning, my heart is soaring

A new way of thinking now
Love I can see, nothing will be
Just like it was,
Is that because?"

Such a emo statement, just like women's period.

A really good sentence from Birtney,

she mean to inform something through her song,

I guess to her ex husband, I hate that guy, Kevin!

"Break my heart I expect you do, Sweet surprise I will get use to."

Should I call my mum?

I has been a really really long time.

12/3 was her birthday, well I don't even give her a single present.

"Baby you not even human cause, only an angel can be so unusual."

Gu Du Zhong Lao

2009-12-02T18:22:00.003+08:00

Aisk... Tired today, it is nearly 4.30am.

I crazy talk and webcam with Jun Yi until now.

Haha! very funny~

He ask me some random questions that challenge me,

well one of his great comment was, he said I am too 要求完美, especially on how people looks like.

I guess I gonna agree even though I believe I am not that way.

Change my perceptions, lower down my "taste"

Hmm, or else I will be 孤独终老.

Very very late now, good night!

Don't assume Don't expect

2009-12-01T12:28:00.004+08:00

I really do expect a treat, I do...

I was anticipated sooo much until sooooooooooooo disappointed.

When I heard separate checks, I do not know what to say.

Straight away my mood gone soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad,

I don't expect a lot, and I thought a treat is the return for the gifts,

may be I am over expected, and too demanding.

And

I always thought that a treat is a tradition of Branica.

That is the rule you set! Is not that I didn't do that on my birthday.

I think everyone in the restaurant on that time thought that,

I don't expect a big expensive dinner,

even a buffet style, I will feel more happy than anything else.

Well,

Happy Birthday Bryan.

My role model

2009-11-30T17:15:00.005+08:00

It is Bryan's birthday actually,

I bought a few stuff to him and I do really hope he is satisfy.

Well special thanks to Chris

because all the stuff I bought to Bryan,

I imitated from his style.

Gosh he is hot!

Here is some of the photo from him,

Hmm Bryan? Do you feel your cloth look similar to his? (the color is different but same brand)

I wish to have it also, it is really look smart and handsome!

Of course, you have to have a good looking, hmm I am not.

I cut my hair again today,

I always want to be short and clean.

But I think I fail to do it on my own hair!

Just like the picture below, again he is Chris Salvatore!

Gosh he is already my role model!

Let me emphasize again,

no matter what you do, you need a nice looking face!

If not, no matter how much you try, there is limit.

I guess I already reach the limit.

I notice that I look very round now!

Sunday night supper, Justin took a photo of me,

My face is like soooooo round on that picture.

So sad, I promise myself to slim down my face!

Make myself like macho~

Not too much, not too skinny, but a nice tune body.

My role model Chris Salvatore, I like this guy!!

2009-11-28T18:03:00.002+08:00

I don't believe you by Pink

I don't mind it,

I don't mind it all.

It's like you are the swing set,

I am the kid that fall.

But I like the one cover by Chris Salvatore.

It is really great.

This guy is a singer unfortunately his album doesn't sell good.

Most of his songs are techno and auto tune kind of music,

if he sing like what he did in I don't believe you,

it will be very good!

Hmm, not really a good mood to write blog today.

GOod night..

Cars

2009-11-26T16:59:00.002+08:00

Dilidaladulu,

boring...~

Happy Thanks Giving everyone!

Today's topic is car,

You know, Branicartho had been through a terrific car searching in this super cold weather.

It does feel like a real winter.

Soo damn cold.

Anyway it is really late now,

just have to say good night to everyone.

I will continue on more detail for what's happening these few days on me!

DreamsZz

Is magical myth

2009-11-24T15:50:00.002+08:00

Haiz, I super dupper hate myself.

So dumb.

Statistics 141, hardly imagine I just get half of the total.

Getting higher chances to get more C now.

Hmm, so bad I really so scare!

But life still have to go on,

next time I need to do better but I think it is really really hard.

What to do, I do not know.

Let the past pass.

Look forward, well look to the bright side.

I really hope I will have a really great future waiting for me.

Need not to be wealthy, I just want normal but happy.

No worries, and find someone who really can share my life together.

Sound desperate huh?

given you own the money,
but

you lose the health,

given you own the wealth,

but

you lose your family or friends,

given you own the power,

but

you have nothing but it.

They are all just equal to zero.

So for now, study hard as I could.

Graduate, get a job.

That is what I am going to do right now!

Good luck Carter!

333

2009-11-23T17:33:00.002+08:00

A lot thing just ain't right,

I don't know what is after.

Through the tears and the laughter,

it makes me as strong as I believe.

Beautiful, yet disaster.

Such a beautiful disaster.

A day ended with P,

P P P P P P

PPPPPPPP

I do really hope I can really pass it this time,

I promise I won't let myself down again.

Stand really really tough,

I will never cry again.

Hmm,, what next..

it is very late actually,

and I just finish a movie alone,

a funny movie!

I probably should go sleep now,

3.33am where the title came from.

And my lucky number of 3,

March 3rd... A important day for my mum,

Well, stop...

It has been a long time I didn't talk to my mum,

family......So wonderful, but I am a bad son, who doesn't really care about them.

Just hope they are healthy and happy!

May the God protect them.

Zero Gravity

2009-11-19T15:19:00.002+08:00

I addicted to all the songs from David Archuleta,

really nice!

He is just so talented, I hope I am him.

Fall in love with this weird song Zero Gravity,

It is weird because it is not my type.

I generally don't listen to this kind of genre, but this Zero Gravity is really nice!

Keep searching for HD video today,

Youtube is actually my favorite now!

I spend most of my time clicking youtube and wait for my opera soap!

Really a great day,

rainy afternoon, gloomy Wednesday.

Tomorrow is the last day of the study day again!

I have been waiting for it sooo long~

But again, tomorrow a disaster day,

a lot of BAD results I am going to face, so sad~

Judgement day

2009-11-18T14:58:00.004+08:00

全军覆没

我要的都给了我最坏的成果。

the Judgement day Tuesday,

Congrat to Mr. Toby White's new born child,

even today is a disaster for me,

so happy that he had such a grateful day,

and I had been go through such a tough moment.

I can only save me from myself,

next will be the other war.

The P war.

I promise myself, study and prepare as hard as I could.

I know I can do it this time!

You can!

Free from school exam right now,

I just want to relax, listen to those songs I love.

fully enjoy my life.

淡淡的日子，

比华丽的更胜一筹。

悠闲也不代表不上劲，

轻松是每一个人追求的目标。

Enjoy, relax, do the thing you really love to do...

The instant and significant satisfaction -- SLEEP

Night and enjoy your life like how I do...

O L T L

2009-11-16T15:04:00.003+08:00

I can't fool myself,

if you ask me I would follow.

You can..

Ahhh, a cold day.

really cold.

One person,

two legs,

walk on the street.

Feel the freezing wind,

trust through the body.

All cells die just a minute.

Studies are getting intense,

am I ok?

I don't know...

I just wanna hold my hand,

be the man,

win the game that always lose.

cause' I still get the feeling.

I just wanna drunken myself,

leave the world with nothing.

Thong and Janice bought some beers,

but I keep telling myself "No".

Well, I did it as last...

Hmmm... nightZ

12:12

2009-11-14T13:52:00.002+08:00

Repeating numbers of time,

recently when I look at the clock, the time it shows is always with repeating numbers,

I just do not know why.

I guess there are signs telling me that I should buy lottery huh?

Haha.. 12:12am is the time right now, of course when I write till here is already 12.14am.

Today I think about Jade,

my dear ex-ex roommate Jade.

He came across my mind just a sudden,

then I look through his facebook profile, and

hmm notice that he did look like David Archuleta!

Hahaha, just I mean "did look like" a bit.

Then it led me to David's song, You Can.

"You can save me from myself,

and is you and no one else."

"Show me the good things come to those who wait."

"Show me the feeling isn't some mistake."

Well, tomorrow is a great day.

International Student Night, and I

gona have a fashion show on that day!

If I could wish upon tomorrow,

and hope tonight will never ends!

I want to rest...

Good night everyone!

Game

2009-11-10T16:17:00.003+08:00

Cloud is a character from Final Fantasy 7.

This game grow up with me.

One of the soundtracks that I like the most is

Aerith's Theme

It just make me feel like I am going back to the childhood,

my past,

my memories,

my life.

It is

a song of reborn,

a song hide with sadness,

a song of hope for new life.

This song is just absolutely amazing.

I love gaming, this is my childhood activities,

of course I played at least 400 games, and 100 of them are really finished to the end.

Hmm, really hardly imagine how crazy I am into games~

Well, now do not have the chance to be like that anymore,

how good to be a kid forever~

Hope my life just like a bowl of cherries..

Sweet night!

桥

2009-11-08T14:07:00.004+08:00

人如桥，

人与人就如桥与桥连接，

带领大家走过人生的一段日子。

不开心，时间还是在流动，

我非常介意别人如何对我，

但我已尝试了，我也尝试去不介意了！

只怪为什么自己是那么的不独立！

这一次，我不再康复了。

好想好想的毕业，

好想好想离开 Drake,

到一个能够让我重来的地方，

希望在未来的日子，我能真真的大笑。

Annoying, mucus

2009-11-07T16:41:00.003+08:00

Shu Yuan sot already,

he comes out his own EMO model.

It does make sense, but it is not useful AT ALL!

Today just a laundry day, ism, masa, nothing special.

REALLY nothing very special FOR me.

ISM gathering, when I was ask where do I want to travel?

The first thing in my mine was Europe,

I think if you travel alone, it is really interest.

Stay in a totally different environment for a few months,

look the other part of the world, see more, get exposure to the new place.

Of course if I am travel with someone that I love,

Europe countries are just so relaxing and romantic for sure.

I guess it would be very fascinating to share a part of your life with someone who really meant to you in Europe.

I always hope to go there with a person that I really treasure a lot and important to me.

It is just so romantic.

Well the MASA election kind of interesting a bit,

which bring my day a little bit highlight.

Just hope thing will work out,

who ever be the MASA night president,

lets make it a big show!

Is time to sleep, hope everything work out.

I wish warm weather goes on just like today!

Stay warm and healthy, my love.

我盼望的一天

2009-11-06T15:07:00.002+08:00

又来了，

重复地重复，何时了？

我已归为“郑太后”

需以文言谈吐，需安份守己，

以免有失王后之威。

But now, this queen is very "in"!

Don't speak Chinese, but English!

By the way, put the 太后 thing away~!

Again, sore throat!

I hate illnesses, it makes me hard to breath.

A day for me to think,

a free day for me to emo,

weekend I love you.

"Shall I be the one for you,

who pinches you softly but sure,

If frown is shown then,

I would know that you are no dreamer."

Love this paragraph a lot,

from the song Eyes on me.

When the situation can't be change,

why don't you change yourself?

I have giving myself a thousand of excuses,

as the reason not to change myself.

I know the world is fair,

For what I given out, I will receive it back later on.

May the world, let me know another better of you.

In my sister's keeper,

Cameron Diaz being told:

"I am not sure you seeing the big picture,

I know it is important for you to feel like you will never give up,

but there's a whole world out there, and you don't see anything, nothing.

Sooner or later, you gonna stop, you gotta let go.."

She replied: "I can't."

Die Lor | But not you

2009-11-03T16:02:00.003+08:00

FIN193

So damn a lot to study.

And my progress is super slow.

It took a few hours just for 3/4 of a chapter!

Eyes on Me

is the song today.

by Faye Wong

It makes me remember my crazy gaming life.

Final Fantasy 8.

I love the sentence she sing,

Just reach me out then
You will know that you're not dreaming

If frown is shown then

I will know that you are no dreamer

A great song and nice arrangement.

Good night and may the healing angel bless you!

EMO queen | Halloween

2009-11-01T15:55:00.004+08:00

总是觉得，

王菲是个很emo的女人。

她的歌曲，

就算是开心的都很emo,

“你快乐，就是我快乐”

经典名曲

“红豆”

更是扣人心弦。

“旋木”

正正表达着小孩的时刻，

是多么的无奈。

三首歌之中

旋木是我最喜爱的。

但说到歌词，红豆

真的是一流！

“有时候，有时候

我会相信一切有尽头，

相聚离开，都有时候，

没有什么会永垂不朽。

可是我有时候，

宁愿选折留恋不放手，

等到风景都看透，

也许你会，

陪我看细水长流。”

Halloween 又怎样，

也不是地球还在转。

还记得，Halloween 在 INTI 的一些照片，

哈哈搞笑！

Anyway be ready when you see the picture below,

I really want to feel the Halloween in US,

so I did a little crazy thing in the midnight!

WARNING!

Haha well, don't laugh ok! This is the first time I do it,

without any make up equipments.

Sources are baby powder, ketchup, and black mask (from Thong).

Just want to show some craziness in this Halloween,

Happy Halloween everyone!

---------------------------------------------

Is tomorrow is Sunday again,

weekend is end again.

I hate this kind of feeling.

Hope everyday is Sunday,

just like everyday is sundae.

specifically McDonald vanilla sundae!

I am going to get you tomorrow!

2009-10-31T16:08:00.002+08:00

Music Video 3 is released today,

just check it out on the youtube.

Hopefully it is still there, because sometimes it get banned from youtube due to the use of violation.

The stupid bed bug is coming back again,

get bite by them again, I really hate them a lot!

Fuckin' ass bug!

Suddenly, my emotion is like go up to the hill and drop down to the real bottom with no reason,

I just finish some card games with my lovely house mate.

Once is time to sleep, I started to be what you guys always said "EMO".

And every time I emo, I do not know what the reason and for what!

I am just too crazy, sleep early will treat the emo I guess.

I want to be like last semester, can I?

Lead the way from Mariah Carey says that

"And if we move closer, Then let it take over and love will lead the way,

Suddenly you lying here with me, and the truth I used to hold have changed."

I do not know what to do,

I want you to support me, as I barely can stand without your love.

I want to hug you very tight... really tight... Again...

3

2009-10-30T13:56:00.000+08:00

Britney new song 3 is really not bad,

Her music, of course generally pop song, dance song!

The 3 music video is actually coming out tomorrow,

don't forget to keep yourself up date ok?

Here is the promo for her new single 3.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izMfnNEZ7FA

Another good song I hooked up is

"Mariah Carey - I want to know what love is"

"Gona take a little time, a little time think things over."

This sentence describes me

I need to take a little time, telling myself "Hey, it is over!"

Yesterday I told Thong,

I rather sit in front of the laptop doing nothing than study!

I might be very stupid to think in such way,

but I don't want to study, I guess who wants that!

Les Vegas, is the up coming destination for the winter trip,

well I never been there, but I don't feel the real excitement to go there.

Of course if you are 21 years old, you pretty much can enjoy everything there.

Since I am not 21 until next year March 3rd, there will be a lot of restrictions for me

Hmm too bad why I am so young~

One thing really makes me wonder a lot,

is Chin Hou, is he the one who travel with me?

If I am telling a Drake Malaysian that Chin Hou and I actually went to vacation for winter break,

I think no one will believe what I am saying, I just do not know why.

For me, the trip was just like a dream even faster than how the light travels.

Brandon, Joanne, Chin Hou, Nick, Sim, Bryan and I,

We never share the excitement and the happiness from the trip,

We never talk about even a single moments we had there,

everyone is just like forget everything.

The only evidence to prove we were actually together on winter break is those photos!

I am the only person, kept on revise all the moments we had.

Why I am so "looking backward"?

I do not know whether I will miss you as much as last Christmas?

"Mariah Carey - Miss You Most at Christmas Time"

Again this coming winter, how much memories will be retained?

I do not know...

new member is here Thong, he will be the other new color to me,

colored my blank piece of paper.

"Backstreet boys - Colored my world"

Today I just recommend 4 great songs in this post,

listen to it, just like listen my heart!

I want to know what love is,

I want you to show me~

Hope the whole world keep peaceful silent,

great blessing night~

OLTL

2009-10-27T12:06:00.003+08:00

Today is a relaxing day,

hmm interesting show between Jimmy and Joanne,

their JJ effect was like a crazy chemistry explosion,

I just name it JJ Big Bang. Is really funny to see Joanne very angry!

But I know she is the innocent one.

"I think I spend all time,

just to think about you"

Playing the song, from Colbie Cailllat. Again I have to say it is a nice relaxing song.

"I think I fallin for youuuuuu~~"

My topic to day is (One Live To Live) OLTL, this is the actually soap opera I am following,

Haha quite nice though, the story is really good, which catch my attention,

so sorry for me to say that, there are no leng lui on that soap opera but just a lot of good looking guys.

Even it is from abc channel, I still choose to watch it in youtube.

=/ weird huh?

Today I am really tired, I just do not know why! So so so much tired that the rest of my weekend.

When is Friday come again? I want it sooo soo soo much~

Still a lot of stuff for me to worry about,

well I haven't done any of those.

sit next to me

2009-10-26T16:20:00.002+08:00

Haha,

I remember you again,

Boon Pin.

Sit next to me in secondary school,

I like the way he laugh, extraordinary crazy type of laughing!

I like the way he got fat belly, for me to pinch,

and his small eyes!

Miss him a lot actually,

but now he is so thin, but he is still very cute!

Haha~

One funny thing happen between me and him,

is that we always 冷战, cold war.

The longest period for a month, but we just sit next to each other.

Hmm, I don't know why,

this skill started to build up, UNTIL now!

I guess the skill is in PRO level already~

Haha, explore me more!

Good night, stay tune!

Karaoke night~

2009-10-25T16:10:00.003+08:00

Haha, a lot of people in this event,

I just do not know whether it is right or not

for Becky to invite Alive group to join.

I think Becky want Malaysian to be more outgoing,

but it is just what I think.

Well, this event is a total failure,

Junior is not coming, and so do the junior representative.

May be she is here, but I didn't see her at all.

A lot of senior are there!

I worries a lot of stuff now,

I just do not know what I am heading to.

Getting very very very very lazy!

Just want to lose myself.

Tare my body apart,

scare to face to the day tomorrow and future..

Hmm.. is 4 now,

chat with Thong until this time,

how good am I accompany him work until 4!

He should give some money to me~

Not so tired actually, but just want to waste some time doing nothing,

enjoy some relaxing time, which is real fun.

Haha, I did play a facebook game today,

removing bra game, my record was 43 bras,

not the highest record but it is really a lot.

can you imagine to open 43 bras in 60 seconds!

Amazing~

Haven't figure out what nice song to hear today,

but I definitely fall in love with this Fallin' for you by Colbie Caillat.

The video is about surfing, I love swim, and I wish surfing.

Hardly imagine, if I have a muscular body, strip my cloth up,

hand holding a surf board, tuck a sunglasses on the top of my head,

THATS IS SO COOL.

That song give me a feeling of sunshine beach,

like a pair of lovely couple, talk along the beach,

seeing the sunset, even it is short but it is romantic.

A lot of moment I wish to spend with just you,

Just me and you,

but it seems I hardly can make it anymore.

Just because we are much friend than just a friend.

Well sweet dreams everyone~

From now on

2009-10-24T14:25:00.002+08:00

Finally, I win from the terrific disaster - fever

Hope I will be fine throughout this semester,

I hate sick!

Today a outing day to Valley West and Hu-hot,

Quite enjoying~

I notice that the mall started to dress themselves up with in green red Christmas stuff,

feels like Christmas is coming very soon.

Is late night again,

silent night, quiet night, as in olden days, summer days.

But the weather today, tell me that summer is just too far away.

Sick

2009-10-23T15:45:00.004+08:00

Hang our shinning star up from the highest bough,

I just wish I can be recover from the sickest fever I ever have in my life.

The whole body is cracked apart,

I couldn't eat anything, and just because of that my house mate cook me a little porridge.

So warm, yet I am still very sick.

I wish you can hug me real tight.

I can hardly move right now,

Just like a old man waiting for die.

Hope all the trouble just out of my sight.

Troubles will be miles away.

I gonna rest again, and tomorrow I couldn't go to work,

but I really scare to face Tammy, she is so scary!

I think I have lost myself,

I do not really know what I want,

May be I do not love you as much as before now,

Losing the faith that love would be mine to treasure.

Well, just let everything be natural,

Again! It will all get better in time...

Fall over

2009-10-21T16:09:00.003+08:00

Something in your eyes

make me wanna lose myself,

make me wanna lose myself.

Something in your voice,

make my heart beat fast.

A good song "Feels like home"

Hmm,

tired day

it is 3.11am

yet Thong isn't here,

I think he doesn't want me already. =)

Finally the Fall break is over.

"Do you know how much this moment mean to me.

If you know how happy you are making me,

you are mean to me so much."

Feels like I am all the way back where I belong~

Feels like home to me...

Good night everyone.

without your love, I will never find a way back home.

Gaming Craze

2009-10-19T16:51:00.003+08:00

Haha, gaming for the entire day,

relax~

Brawls, it is really fun,

Troubles all gone away?

Happy golden days,

of course I treasure it so much,

as great times seems to be short

Again, I was intoxicated by this song

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

once I sit on my computer, I will listen to this song.

Hanging a shinning star upon the highest bough,

I wish I can be real happy throughout all this semester.

Eunice asked me whether wanna join her,

2 persons winter break trip or not,

my mind was rolling a lot of stuff.

Well, if I am left in Des Moines in this winter break,

this will be my saddest, coldest, pithiest winter I ever been.

Let my soul grants wishes all the people in this world,

to stay real warm in the chilly Autumn,

if the faiths allow, let the good luck hanging up the sky,

and let winter drop all the lucks down to the Earth.

I love everyone here.

Thanks for concerning me through reading my blog.

I greatly appreciate and blessed.

2009-10-18T14:36:00.002+08:00

I just do not know why,

the song I love is so slow, so calm,

and it is true, they are a little bit emo too.

Well that's is me~

I love to plug my earphone real in the the ears

and feel the entire song focus on my Tympanic membrane.

I guess I love song accompaniment with piano very much.

Slow jazzie, slow pop, slow and calm.

Listen to those songs, I feel real warm.

I hope I can learn piano one day.

When I was a kid, my mum used to say "Why need to learn instrument? I am not that kind of mother send their children tuition here, learn this, learn that, to be multi-skill people."

She thinks that is not necessary to learn so much stuff.

Well, she train her children to do housework, to be independent,

but not playing instrument.

That's why I never tell her, I wanna learn playing instrument,

may be she do not know I am actually like it so much.

But I am sure, I am going to learn it one day,

when I am old?

When summer, I was trying to find Benjamin to teach me a little piano key.

But it just ended up nothing, =/

Mesmerized

2009-10-17T16:41:00.003+08:00

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,

a cold day + a break,

makes me remember the Thanks Giving day.

Well, today is just my fall break~

It is really too early to winter,

but Christmas feel started to intensify the surrounding as the weather get cold way faster than it usually does.

Again, tell everyone here, I love Christmas.

I just do not know why, the feel is just different for me.

Christmas is the time everyone holiday, everyone joy to the world.

Ahhh, how good to have such a life,

no stress, so free, yet so enjoying.

Who doesn't want this kind of life!

There are so many people out there worries about A LOTS of thing.

I discover a song David Archuleta's new Christmas album,

Have yourself a little Merry Christmas

and hope it can loosen up all the stress everyone has.

I sent all my warm and love to everyone,

especially you, I love you real much even I can't have you.

I really hope one day, I can tell you again these three words again for the last time, as well as for the first time in person.

Or else I will regret for my entire life.

Please listen to it if you free~

Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Let your heart be light
From now on your troubles will be out of sight.

Merry little Christmas now..

And let it take over~

2009-10-16T14:30:00.002+08:00

"Having a child who is sick is a full time occupation.

Sure we still enjoy the usual day to day happinesses of family life.

Big house, great kids, beautiful wife.

But beneath the exterior there are cracks,

resentments, alliances that threaten the very foundation of our everyday lifes.

As at any moment our whole world could come tumbling down."

Great sentence from My sister's keeper.

But the words are really sad.

I just got it from internet,

I wish to watch it again,

Well may be not now.

Is late night, I need to sleep,

Love you~ and Good night!

Cold day...

2009-10-14T16:16:00.003+08:00

Today is freaking cold,

even in class I was putting my ugly purple jacket on.

At home, it seems a little bit cold too

everyone was just so tired and sleep for a few hours in the afternoon.

Still remember the question I gave for the previous post:

the answers are

1) U because U occurs once in the word j U n e, once in j U l y and twice in a U g U s t.

2) The woman had a triplet, two sons and a daughter, thats why they are not twins.

3) 5 + 5 + 5 not equal to 550, just put the straight line across the = sign. =/

Jonas brothers - When you look me in the eyes

"When you look me in the eyes, tell me that you love me,

everything alright, when you right here by my side,

when I hold you in my arm, I know it is forever,

I just got to let you know, never wanna let you go."

Everything I wanted turn out the way I want,

yet I doesn't seems very happy enough,

as I know you will never change because of me.

Who do not want the person you love,

love you as much as how you do,

Everything just run off,

when there is no mutual or same kind of feeling.

Everyone knows that!

Another meaningful lyrics I would like to share to everyone one I love, everyone who is in love, everyone who need love:

Lead the way - Mariah Carey

Who would've believed
That you and me would fall
And land together

And who could've foreseen
In you I'd find the place
I've belonged forever

And if I move closer
Then love will take over
And lead the way

I'd given up hope
Losing the faith that love
Could be mine to treasure

And now
Nothing's the same
I found myself reborn

On the day I met you

And if we move closer
Then love will take over
And lead the way

Suddenly you are lying
Here with me and the truths
I used to hold have changed

And if I move closer
And let it take over
Then love will lead the way
And let it take over
Then love will lead the way

"Hope the love lead me the way!"

Sima

2009-10-12T15:21:00.002+08:00

I don't like this lady, Sima!

She always order me to do things that I am not suppose to do!

And please, don't always call me HONEY.

First my name is not Honey,

Second, I am not her honey!

Well, a day just gone due to non-stop 4 hours straight of tiring work.

Again, today I am not gonna say anything emo!

Haha, a weekend need to be fun,

is true that I enjoy this weekend in a fun way, but not a meaningful way.

I did nothing in this week, even it is not the first time~

I got some really tricky questions for all the my readers today:

What occurs once in June, once is July, but twice in August?

A women has two sons, they are born in the same hour, same day, same year, yet they are not twins. Why?

Use a straight line to make the equation below true:

5 + 5 + 5 = 550

Hope you think real careful! I got 2 out of 3~ The question about the women is really tricky for me!!

Let's smile and forget any sad thing you have for the entire day, sleep well and wake up in a refreshing mind!

"It will allllllll gettttttttt better in time.......!"

Why I am like this

2009-10-11T11:13:00.003+08:00

Why,

please help me..

I really need someone to split everything out,

Am I really that messy? My life is just very unorganized, even I try to pretend I am not.

It is really hard for me to pretend

not to love you.

Stop this, stop everything. Including time!

Every time I write this blog again,

I feel really very very stress,

every word is about you.

Every thing I wanted you to know,

I try my very best to achieve what you like to turn out to be.

I screw my life,

I think too much,

I ......................

<3

2009-10-09T13:39:00.003+08:00

Sometimes late at night

I lie awake and watch her sleeping

She's lost in peaceful dreams

So I turn out the lights

and lay there in the dark

And the thought crosses my mind

If I never wake up in the morning

Would she ever doubt the way I feel

About her in my heart

If tomorrow never comes

Will she know how much I loved her

Did I try in every way

to show her every day

That she's my only one

And if my time on earth

were through

And she must face the

world without me

Is the love I gave her in the past

Gonna be enough to last

If tomorrow never comes

'Cause I've lost loved

ones in my life

Who never knew how much

I loved them

Now I live with the regret

That my true feelings for them

never were revealed

So I made a promise to myself

To say each day how much

she means to me

And avoid that circumstance

Where there's no second chance

to tell her how I feel

If tomorrow never comes

Will she know how much I loved her

Did I try in every way

to show her every day

That she's my only one

And if my time on earth

were through

And she must face the

world without me

Is the love I gave her in the past

Gonna be enough to last

If tomorrow never comes

So tell that someone that you love

Just what you're thinking of

If tomorrow never comes

I do not know I will regret on this decision,

but whatever happen I just hold on!

Please, please, please... just hold on!

Why I try something never have a good result,

I just hope tomorrow will never come,

Everyone just die and the world just disappear.

How desperate I hope I never met you,

it is really a pain.

Fall again

2009-10-07T14:34:00.002+08:00

It is fall again,

again I listen to this legendary love song - Better In Time.

Fall is cold, is the preparation to winter,

Fall is the time I open up to you,

Fall is the time I hurt the most,

Fall is the time I listen to better in time,

Fall is the time I get extremely or extraordinary emo.

Fall is the time I think of GK,

Fall is the time of my first semester in Drake.

Fall everything just fall,

so fall,

so cold,

so falling apart.

When summer comes again, is the time I forget everything,

And wait for fall, to look back again.

I am growing,

I fall down because of you,

I stand up because of you.

I hold myself tight,

when I offer my hand, will you pull me up?

When you offer your hand to me,

is it mean that you really want to do that,

or just because I am forcing you.

Feeling always getting intense and so emotional when I start to think.

I am like this,

I look very fine outside, but I can be so down inside.

Janice starts her 1st blog today,

I really wish she is not like me,

I don't wish she writing blog because of someone which like what I am doing.

Just like don't survive because of others, even though I am.

I just have to say good night to the whole world.

Sleep tight!

Refresh

2009-10-05T13:43:00.003+08:00

A notable moment I spend with Janice today "The Flashback",

Both of us looked back all my old pictures,

it wasn't fun, I can feel my heart is crying.

A lot of memories were refresh again,

the thing I got, the thing I missed,

so much, so much, so uncountable.

I still remember how Bryan used to tease me in INTI -

Bryan: I haven't got back your money from the mahjong RM30!

Carter: I already pay you just now! I did pay you!

Bryan: NO, you didn't I am sure.

Carter: No! I just hand it to you, you didn't get it?

Bryan: No you didn't pay me, don't forget to pay me ah!

Carter: No le I already pay you d leh!

Bryan: Haahaa, I was just joking.

I was too serious and I am in a very bad mood after loosing money.

I was going to cry.

This short conversation make me angry A NIGHT.

Well and Anyway, it's over.

Start from that day, I will never ever gamble unless it is Chinese New Year!

This applies to today's situation

Today, Bryan was addicted to the PokerStar,

He finally cash in 30 dollars real money into it, and start his poker journey.

Yet I can feel this wasn't a good start,

I know I shouldn't see him play,

I know I am the person who get excited very fast when seeing people play games,

I know I say something wrong,

I hate the fact that friend scold me because of money.

I really hate the situation when friendship involves money.

I tell myself, I will never gamble with my friends FOREVER!

unless, the person want me to substitute him or her/ he or she is willing for pay for me!

or the bet is very very very very small.

Again,

Bryan used to say I am stingy,

I have to admit I am.

That is me, my personality.